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A wedding is one of life's great moments, a time of solemn commitment as well as good wishes, feasting and joy.
St John tells us how Jesus shared in such an occasion at Cana, and gave there a sign of new beginnings as he turned water into wine.

Marriage is intended by God to be a creative relationship, as his blessing enables husband and wife to love and support each other
in good times and in bad, and to share in the care and upbringing of children.

For Christians, marriage is also an invitation to share life together in the spirit of Jesus Christ. It is based upon a solemn, public
and life-long covenant between a man and a woman, declared and celebrated in the presence of God and before witnesses.

   

"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful,

- it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.  It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. "

(1 Corinthians 1. 4-7)

 

Can I get married in Church?

 

 

 

We would love to welcome you to St. James for your wedding.

There are two qualifications that entitle you to be married in your Parish Church:

    At least one of you must live in the parish or be a member of the church.

    There is no automatic right to entitle you to be married if either of you is divorced, but the church does consider each enquiry

    individually: please speak to the Curate in the first instance - see below.

 

How To Go About Organising Your Wedding

First you should arrange an initial discussion with the Parish Priest, Father Andy Shaw, Tel: 01253 799875 / 07876 571978  

pillingrev@btconnect.com


At an intial meeting, an application form will be completed and various arrangements discussed with you. This will normally take  about an hour. 

There will be further meetings to discuss preparation for the wedding. There will also be a wedding rehearsal on the week of the wedding.

 

 

Vicar                 Father Andy Shaw

Director of Music   Paul Buckmaster 810086

 

Banns of Marriage   

There is a legal requirement to declare your intention of marrying. This is done by having the Banns of Marriage read in your Parish Church on

three consecutive Sundays within three months of the wedding.  Normally, to be married in the Church of England, banns are read in the parish churches of both partners.

If you both live in   the parish of Stalmine, the banns need only be read at St James Church.    The Vicar will arrange for the banns to be read on dates

that are convenient for you.  You will be expected to attend these three services.  If one of you lives in another parish, the banns must also be read in that parish.

The Vicar will help you identify the other parish, and who to contact so you can arrange for the banns to be read in that parish church. There is a fee to pay for the banns

 to be read in the other church. Once read, you must get a Banns Certificate from the Vicar of the other parish.  This is a legal requirement.

 

Planning the Service

At the initial meeting, you will discuss various plans for the wedding service. A typical order of service may be as follows:  

 

 

Bridal March

Hymn

Ceremony, with Bible reading, and short talk

Signing the Marriage Register

Prayers

Hymn

Wedding March

 

The service normally lasts for about 45 minutes

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

Music   

You can choose your own hymns for the service. Normally, there are two or three hymns. 
You can also choose the music played as the bride comes into church, and when you leave the church together at the end of the service.

The Director of Music is always happy to help you choose appropriate music for your wedding.  If you like, the church choir can be invited to sing

at your wedding.

 

 

Some Suggested Wedding Hymns

All people that on earth do dwell            All things bright and beautiful
Angel voices ever singing                      Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart    
Christ is made the sure foundation        Come down, O love divine
Dear Lord and Father of mankind          Father hear the prayer we offer

For the beauty of the earth                   King of glory, king of peace 

Guide me O thou great Redeemer        Holy, holy, holy, holy
Immortal, invisible God only wise          Jesus, good above all other
Glorious things of thee are spoken        Lord of all Hopefulness 

Love divine, all loves excelling              Morning has broken 

Make me a channel of your peace         Now thank we all our God 
What a friend we have in Jesus             O perfect love 

O Jesus I have promised                      O praise ye the Lord

O thou who camest from above             This is the day
Thine for ever, God of Love                  The Lord's my shepherd 
Praise my soul the king of heaven        Soldiers of Christ arise

Praise to the Lord, the Almighty            The King of love my Shepherd is
Seek ye first the kingdom of God          We pledge to one another          
                                          

Suggested Organ Music              

Bridal March - Wagner                                                                              

Recessional (Leaving) Wedding March – Mendelssohn

 

 

Choosing your Bible Reading      

You may also choose the Bible Reading used in your wedding service.  The Parish Priest will assist you if necessary.

 

The signing of the register. 

During the signing of the register the organist will normally play quietly in the background, or the choir can sing appropriate short anthems.
Two witnesses must witness your signatures and sign the registers themselves. The witnesses must be aged 18 or over. 
Often the Chief Bridesmaid and Best Man act as witnesses.  At the service, you will be given your Wedding Certificate which you will have just signed.
This is an important legal document which you need to take care of.  

 

 

 

 

 

Printed Order of Service  

If you wish to arrange with a printer for an order of service booklet to be produced, you will need to agree the words to be printed with the Marriage Preparation Team.
Make sure you have enough copies of your order of service for your guests, for the priest, organist and verger, and for any well-wishers who may attend the wedding
ceremony but not the reception.

 

Photographs/Videos   

A wedding is a solemn and important religious occasion, and as such, we ask that no photographs and videos are taken during the service as some people find it distracting.  

However, photographs/videos are allowed before the service starts, as the bride processes up the aisle, during the signing of the register, and as the couple
proceed down the aisle together.  Please discuss this with the Vicar.

 

Flowers       

If you wish to use your own florist for in church flower arrangements, please discuss the  plans with our own flower arranger.

The Vicar will let you know who this is for your wedding at the initial meeting.

 

The Rehearsal   

This will normally take place in church on the week of the wedding.

 

The total fee for the wedding should be paid at the rehearsal.  

This is usually attended by the bride and groom, the best man, the bride’s father (or whoever is giving the bride away), the bridesmaids and anyone else who will be taking

part in the service,  e.g reader, musicians etc. The rehearsal is to reassure you if you are nervous - not to make you more nervous! Don't worry if you forget everything

the priest tells you at the rehearsal. He/she will guide you through the service on your Big Day. You need only remember to turn up on time and bring the ring or rings with you!

 

The Wedding Day     

The groom and best man should arrive about 30 minutes before the wedding. This gives time for photographs and to check the registers.

The bride should plan to arrive about 7-8 minutes before the start of the service. This gives the photographer sufficient time for photographs.

The bride will then be ready to come up the aisle on time!

 

 

Format of the Modern Service 

The minister says to the bridegroom         

N, will you take N. to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her

as long as you both shall live?       

He answers I will. 

 

The minister says to the bride                  

N, will you take N. to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him,  honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him

as long as you both shall live?

She answers I will. 

 

The minister says to the congregation         

Will you, the family and friends of .... and .... support and uphold them in their marriage now and in the years to come?           

They answer We will.

 

 

The minister may symbolically receive the bride from her father.
The bride and bridegroom face each other.
The bridegroom takes the bride's right hand in his, and says

 

I, N, take you, N,
to be my wife,
to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part,

according to God's holy law;
In the presence of God I make this vow

 


They loose hands.
The bride takes the bridegroom's right hand in hers, and says

 

I, N, take you, N,
to be my husband,
to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part,
according to God's holy law;
In the presence of God I make this vow.

  

 

They loose hands.
The
minister receives the ring(s). He says ...

Heavenly Father, by your blessing, let these rings be to N and N a symbol

of unending love and faithfulness, to remind them of the vow and covenant

which they have made this day; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

 

The bridegroom places the ring on the fourth finger of the bride's left hand,

and holding it there, says   

I give you this ring
as a sign of our marriage.
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you,
within the love of God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

 
 

If rings are exchanged, they loose hands and the bride places a ring

on the fourth finger of the bridegroom's left hand, and holding it there, says ...  

I give you this ring
as a sign of our marriage.
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you,
within the love of God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

  

 

(If only one ring is used, before they loose hands the bride says

I receive this ring
as a sign of our marriage.
With my body I honour you,
all that I am I give to you,
and all that I have I share with you,
within the love of God,
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
)

  

 

A wedding prayer

 

Heavenly Father, we offer you our souls and bodies, our thoughts and words and deeds, our love for one another.
Unite our wills in your will, that we may grow together in love and peace all the days of our life. Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

 

 

 

Frequently Asked Questions
 

1. Can I get married in the parish where my parents live and where I grew up? 

Yes.  In simple terms, you must reside for a period of 15 consecutive days in the parish (stay with your parents/relatives, friends).

The Marriage Preparation Team will advise you of the details.

 

2. Can I get married where I grew up, although neither I nor my parents live there any more? 

Yes, if the conditions outlined above are fulfilled and the priest agrees.

 

3. When can I get married in Church?                                                         

Weddings can be conducted at the church on most Saturdays. Weddings can also be arranged on week-days, and under special circumstances

on Sundays.

 

4. How much does it cost (2016)?                                                                      

 

Wedding service: £415

 

Publication of Banns: £27

Certificate of Banns: £13

 

 

Additional Banns & Banns Certificate (payable to the church where the Banns are read.): £34

If you do not live in the parish where your wedding is to take place, additional Banns of Marriage must be read in the parish church nearest to where you reside.

After the Banns have been read on three consecutive Sundays, a Certificate will be issued that you must give to the Vicar of the church where you will be married.

 

 

Verger: £30

Organist: £80

 

 

If you would like the Choir or Music Group, the Church to provide flowers, or the use of the church extension, please discuss your requirements with the Minister.
There will be additional charges

 

The above photographs were taken during / after the marriage ceremony of Alexander Fleming and Caroline Wolstenholme, on 21st June 2014.
Comments included:


From the mother of the bride:

I was so thrilled when Cari and Alex chose to marry at St. James'.  After all, it is our family church where she was both baptised and confirmed.
It is like a second home to us all and we always feel part of the church family.  Everyone was so helpful, both at the planning stage and on the day of the wedding. 
The church looked beautiful when dressed with flowers, candles and ivy and the service was conducted with reverence but was also relaxed
with a few light-hearted quips from our very personable curate, Dyllis.  All in all, a superb marriage service in a lovely setting that led the way on a wonderful day.

 

From the father of the bride:

St James is a lovely venue for a wedding, all the officials are warm, friendly, helpful and welcoming, the church is well presented inside and out,
the latter really good for photograph options.  It made the day so special and enjoyable!


 

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